What’s the Point?

It’s a question we find we ask ourselves at difficult times in our lives. We know intellectually that we will die at some point and all that we know will be no more for us. So, what is the point?!

Incredible opening for my blog that focuses on being Happy Anyway isn’t it? But really, it is the issue at its very basic level. Can we really be Happy Anyway? Why not? What is happiness all about? It is about now. It is about enjoying the very moment we are in, not the past which cannot be changed and not the future which has not happened yet. Now.

But wait a minute. This feeling of “what’s the point” is very real and all consuming at times. Especially when the news you just got is not very good at all. Bad news focuses our attention enormously. As I have said elsewhere in this blog, you need to acknowledge and experience the feelings that are happening with no guilt. BUT, you also need to set up a deadline for when you will move on and return to the state of happiness. Sounds weird but I mean that you need to set a time when you will look at your new reality and develop some plans to put you back on the journey that you have been on.

What is it that we all really really really really REALLY want? When you start to answer you need to put the question why in at each stage. Money? Why? So that I can have a nice place to live, drive a nice car, dress well, eat out at fine dining places and so on. Why? So I can help others to experience these same things. Why? It makes me feel good. Why? I like to help others and live a good life. Why? It gives me a purpose and a reason to get up each day. That is what makes me happy, having a purpose – a reason to be.

So, back to that tough question – what is the point? It is different for each of us and it is even different for us at different stages of our lives. But it boils down to; “What is my (current) purpose”? It can be to get that promotion and earn more money. It can be to give my children all the help and experience that I can so that they can have a good adult life. It can be to retire with comfort and security. It can be to see grandchildren graduate. It can Never stop doing your thingbe to make sure the house is cleaned and organized from top to bottom before I die. (That is a story I recall about a person who was told that she had about a month to live. So she decided to make sure her home was spic and span for the wake. It took her some 10 years to get it just right!)

We simply cannot be happy if we are not actively living on purpose. We need a reason to get up each day that means something to us. Please don’t get caught in the trap of “should“. I am not talking about what you and/or others think you should have as a reason to get up. Rather, what is it that YOU feel is right for you? And then take steps along that road. It is your journey after all. Enjoy it.

Be Happy, Live Well and Laugh Out Loud Every Day!

Analysis or Cognitive?

I see so much about how people are spending years in psycho-analysis in order to be happier. I really do not get it. I am not saying there is no place for it, but what is it that you want?? To understand why your life sucks, or who you can blame for the way you are? Or do you just want to be happy anyway?

Then there are the folks who are in Cognitive Therapy. I sort of wonder what that is about as well. Really all it seems to be about is to decide what you really want and then make a plan to get it! I know it is a bit more than that but it is pretty practical and focuses on outcome. You only need to look at the why question to see if it can happen again. If it can, develop a means to handle or avoid it. If it can’t, ….!!

What we really, really, really, REALLY want is to just be happy anyway! What has happened is done. At worst, it is a trail that you can still see. It does need to equal the future. What might happen is in the future. If we can really control it, make plans and deal with it. If it is not in your control, just get on with today!

So, how do we be happy anyway? There are so many books and courses on this I am always surprised that we are not all just plain happy. Actually, most of us, most of the time. We instinctively know what to do to be happy. We just loose track once in a while. Here are a few focus reminders to consider:

  • Intend to be happy.
  • Look for the good, even in bad things! Lessons learned.
  • Expect good things to happen – be optimistic.
  • Hang around happy people.
  • Give yourself time to be angry, sad, to grieve. But decide when to look for the happiness again. Set a deadline! Limit the time.

There are lots of tips here at this site and around the world. Look for the good ones that make sense to you. Remember the outcome you desire – to be happy anyway!

How You React Determines Happiness!

Men are disturbed not by things that happen, but by their opinions of the things that happen.
Epictitus (55-135 AD)
Greek Stoic Philosopher

I read this in a book a while ago and was struck to my core by how simply it states the obvious. It is not the events that determine our happiness. Events just happen. It is our mind (thinking) that establishes how we will experience the event – how we will permit it to affect us! It is our ability to form an opinion that sets us apart from other species. That ability to form an opinion is the absolute joy of being alive and experiencing life with happiness as the basis.

That person did not cut you off just to irritate you. The game was not rained out just to ruin your day. You did not fail to do that thing you wanted to do – the result was just different than you wanted. Things happen to us and around us. They just do! If we did not have a mind to form an opinion, the things would just happen and we would move on. That is what other species do.

I watched a bird build a nest in a hard to reach spot, find a mate, start a family, make hundreds of trips in and out just to feed the babies, stick nearby when they had left the nest, show the “youngsters” how to find food and stay out of harms’ way, and finally leave the area to head south for the winter. The next year they will do it all again. They did this with no big celebrations, no frustration at the huge workload, no show of pride, no anger at the rain that made them wet. They do not have the mind to form an opinion about the events that are going on around them and that they are a part of. They were not happy nor sad nor angry nor any of the other emotions we experience. They just were!

Our blessing and sometimes curse is that we do have emotions. We form an opinion in our minds that decides how we will feel. When “good” things happen, we can decide to feel joy or contentment or happiness. We can also decide to feel apprehension and worry in case something “bad” is going to happen to ruin the happiness. It makes more sense to decide to feel the joy, contentment and happiness! Decide that way! When “bad” things happen, we can decide to feel anger, frustration, and sadness. We can also decide to feel those feelings and quickly look for what we can do with the experience to learn, avoid in the future, adjust to new reality and see how we will meet the challenge to feel happy anyway! We get to choose. Choose calmness and happiness!

Of course we will have the negative emotions. That is how we can really enjoy the happy emotions. Knowing the difference. We should not deny the negative emotions. Rather, experience them, feel them, and as soon as we can, look to see how we can find ways to move back into the light and feel happiness again. How you react determines your happiness. Do not focus on the “bad”. Remember that the outcome we all want is happiness.

Live well, love always and laugh out loud every day!!!!!

Be Fit – Be Happy! :)

I have said it before, what we all really want is just to be happy. There are several post here about some various things to consider. Right now I want to address one more issue. Weight – specifically overweight and obesity and the potential health problems related to those conditions.

Here are a couple of things that I found that demostrate the problem and what we might want to start considering:

Facts from World Health Organization.
http://www.who.int/dietphysicalactivity/publications/facts/obesity/en/
FACTS:
Globally, there are more than 1 billion overweight adults, at least 300 million of them obese.
Obesity and overweight pose a major risk for chronic diseases, including type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, hypertension and stroke, and certain forms of cancer. (emphasis added)
The key causes are increased consumption of energy-dense foods high in saturated fats and sugars, and reduced physical activity.

Scientific American Magazine
By David H. Freedman January 18, 2011
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=how-to-fix-the-obesity-crisis
style=”text-decoration: underline;”>Modern epidemic: For millennia, not getting enough food was a widespread problem. Nowadays obesity is a global burden that affects one third of Americans. Another third are overweight.
Obesity is complex: Researchers have developed key insights into its metabolic, genetic and neurological causes. But this work has not amounted to a solution to the public health crisis.
Behaviour focus: Using techniques that have proved effective in treating autism, stuttering and alcoholism may be the most valuable for either losing weight or preventing weight gain.
Next steps: Behavior studies show that recording calories, exercise and weight; adopting modest goals; and joining a support group increase the chances of success.

It really does come down to the quite simple idea of less intake and more output. As we age we loose lean muscle mass and fat increases. The reason fat increases is that we need less calories to maintain our weight as our muscle mass decreases (and/or our activity decreases) yet we tend to keep taking in the same amount of calories. The unneeded calories convert to fat and stay with us. We look for a magic pill or “diet” to solve our problem. We try joining a gym or some such thing to “burn it off”. All to no avail. We end up hating it and avoiding it. We “fail”.

Wrong!!! We don’t fail. We are just doing the wrong things because that is what we have been told to do for so long. It really does just take about 7 minutes three times a week to get in great shape. That is what 7 Minute Workout is all about. But it is about much more. It has great sessions to help us learn about how our bodies really work and how the food we choose to eat makes a difference. No preaching – no threats – just information and answers to questions. It also includes a great support network which, as you see from one of the items listed above, greatly increases the likelihood of success. There are also tools to record your progress and share it as you feel you want to.

Join me in stopping the trend to overweight and the health problems that come with that. First us, then our family, then our friends, and then their friends – and so on. Let’s change the world, one step at a time.

Another Year. Make it Happy!

This is a magical time of the year and it has been for thousands of years. The crops are all in, the fields have been readied for winter, food stores have been set aside. Supplies have been brought in to survive the winter months. The days have been getting shorter. Now, the days are getting longer and we look forward eagerly to the future once more!

This has been going on forever. Peoples have been celebrating this time as a time to review our past, to be grateful for what we have and to plan with eager anticipation our future. Take some time for this. Put your feet up and think for a while.

The stuff about crops and supplies for the winter and so-on is no longer literal in our society but it is in many others (and was in ours not all that long ago!). Our current calendar puts this time of the year at the end of the year so it is a great time to reflect and set goals for the coming year.

Be gentle when you reflect on this past year. Some bad things happened and you may feel guilty at even thinking about being happy or making plans. Acknowledge that, reflect back to the better times and seize on those as the better memories to hold in mind. Think also about all the good things that happened. Keep them also at the front of your mind. How did you do on your goals/resolutions from last year? Mentally celebrate the achievements and decide what to do about the ones you did not quite achieve. Let got the ones that don’t matter and plan what to do about the others (if any).

Here is a quick side note. Do you have a store of little things that bring a smile to your face or make you laugh? I have a little “fun things” file that I put stuff in as it touches me. When I am feeling a bit down and want a lift, I turn to this file and just “reach in” randomly and see what comes out. It is always good to at least shift my mood. Like the fellow who was marvelling at how a thermos can keep things cold or it can keep things hot. “How does it know?” 🙂

After you have reviewed the year, putting the good things in the front of your mind, let’s now be grateful for all that we have. I keep saying that we were so smart to choose this time and this place to be alive. We, in North America, are better off than the vast majority of the rest of the world. I personally have a great family around me that care about, and for me. Great friends to share ways to change the world for the better. Comfortable surroundings and time to do things. I have people around me that let me help them ( a true blessing). What about you? What are you grateful for?

Perscription: Live on purpose in 2011.

Now, look ahead to the coming year. Call them resolutions or goals or whatever, but, decide what you want to get done in 2011. Just go ahead and set down in writing for yourself what it is that you intend to do. It can be a give up goal or a get it done goal. Be specific. Then be sure to write out in as much detail as you can the reason this is important to do in 2011. If you cannot do this, you are not convinced so you might as well let it go now. Which is the most important to you right now? What can you do right now to start? Do it!

Repeat often during the year and have a wonderful 2011!!!!