Decide to Try!

Think positive. Be positive. Hold the image of what you really want in your mind and it will manifest. Imagine. And so on … These are the sorts of things that we are advised to do and they are all great. But, it will not be enough to build the life we really, really, really, really,REALLY want. We have to be On Purpose. We need to have a plan and actually do things.

Let me set out a few steps to get this week off to a great start. First of all, Prepare. Simply, that means clear the decks and get ready. As basic as clearing and organizing your space around you. Your desk, your office/room, even your car. It might not feel like it but these things are weighing on your brain and keeping you from being at your peak.

Then Plan. Start with exactly what it is that you want to achieve. Do you really believe that you can do it? As a friend once said to me a very long time ago, “Dream Big, the amount of work to get there is about the same and if you fall just a bit short you are still a very long ways along the road to what you set out for”. Try! So, write down exactly what it is that you want to achieve. What is the first step that you must take? And the next? If you are not even sure of the things that need to be done, talk to someone who has done it. Do some research to see what it might take to get to where you want to be. Write down all the action steps that you need to take. Organize them in chronological order as best you can.

And finally, Perform. Most of the time we are told to set a date by which we want to achieve something. I like that but it is actually much more important to set a time to actually start! Look at your list of action items and set a start date for as many as you reasonably can. Set the start time for at least one action for right now! And, as Anthony Robbins would say, take massive action.

We are most happy when we are working towards a worthwhile goal. Especially when that goal aligns with our purpose and values. We feel good when our surroundings are pleasant and organized. It all comes down to “Be the Best You” you can be. Live well, love always and laugh out loud everyday!

 

 

 

Happiness is connected to what we do – always!

Life is happening all around us all the time. Some good, some bad and lots of seemingly no moment at all. All of this is not what we do but what is done to and around us. So how can we be “happy anyway”?

I posit that it is all about what WE do. If we fall into a funk and think about how “bad” it is, we will feel “funky”. If we look around for blame, we will feel “blamey”. If we feel that life is just conspiring against us we will feel “conspired against”.

Let’s look at who or what is responsible for what we do. Is our boss responsible for what we do when he/she makes impossible demands or levels unfair criticism? Not really. It is our reaction that is all about what we do. We can recognize the impossibility of the assignment and make a concerted effort to show the impossibilities and, more importantly, the possibilities instead. Sometimes we need to consider the unfair criticism and just look for the lessons. Maybe how not to be like the unreasonable boss. Maybe to just file it away and move on. In other words, we are responsible for what we do. So act positively, be assertive, and act! Do not just feel put upon – act and do something.

What about circumstances? Sometimes things just happen TO you. The car doesn’t work. The basement floods. The power goes out. Someone cuts you off dangerously in traffic. It pours rain just when you are taking the family out for a picnic. Most of this sort of thing is beyond your control. So – what should we DO? Just make a choice to consider alternatives right away instead of lapsing into “poor me” feelings. Sometimes it is just a matter of looking at the situation and seeing the humour. The person who cut you off in traffic must have a wonderful assignation to get to! 🙂 Have a picnic in the rain anyway!

So what do we mean when we say that happiness is connected to what we do? Simply it is that if we do positive – we get positive. Is what we are doing contributing to our happiness? It is still always about choices. If we have a boss that really is just an impossible person you must choose to change your boss. Be grateful that you have a job and income but look for ways to change the boss. Maybe find a way to be your own boss (start a business). When circumstances happen, learn to be grateful that they are not worse (they can always be worse) and that you can see a way to make changes to better the outcomes. Then ACT. Do something to make things better.

Sometimes change is required. While looking for a new boss, alter your outside work activities to focus on activities that bring happiness and joy. Get a good work/life balance. Change how you look at things. Look for lessons, humour, thankfulness, and always find a way to move from not happy to happy. Be gentle on yourself. Deal with emotions and give yourself time to “feel”. But give yourself a deadline to move back to gratefulness and happy.

It all comes down to choice. Choose to get your mind right. Look for things to be grateful for. Choose to remain steadfast and reliable to others. Choose to be persistent and even eager. Choose to be a good colleague/boss/employee. Choose to be happier!

Live well, love always and laugh out loud every day! 😀

I know you can, but will you?

I know you can be happy anyway, but will you? I know you can give love, but will you? I know you can help that person, but will you? I know you can forgive that, but will you?

Yes, it really is all about choices we make. It is not just the circumstances around us that lead to happiness or not. It really is about how we choose to look at things and to act. I am always reminded of the whole concept of reaping what we sow. Becoming what we think about. Receiving what we give out. Whenever we are faced with a decision on how we are going to react to something, we are getting one more chance to choose happiness. What is the outcome we want from the choice we are facing? Really, really, really, really want?

It might be easy to say that we want that person to know how angry we are with him/her. We want the person to feel the pain that action caused. We want to teach that person a lesson. Those are all superficial and are not what we really want in our life. We want happiness, joy and love. Look further than the moment. Break free from our programming and choose peace, love, understanding and happiness.

I have just read that in the average home the ratio of negative to positive messages is 14 to 1! For every positive comment we make to a person in the family, we make almost 14 critical comments. A similar study apparently showed that in long-term happy marriages there was a ratio of 7 to 1 positive communications. Which model are you following? It is a choice and is solely in your hands to choose. I know you can choose the latter, but will you?

The cashier at the checkout is not the one who entered the price wrong in the computer, yet they are the ones that take the brunt of the blame and anger. Slow down. What is really important in the big picture of our life? That we chastised someone or that we accepted that an error was made and is being corrected? What you are putting out into the universe is rebounding back to you, usually 7-fold. Put out good vibes.

I have taught for years that we should always start out a venture with the end in mind. In other words, start taking action with the outcome that you desire in mind. That is important in life. The earlier we understand this and take a couple of steps, the earlier we can be walking the path of happiness. Picture yourself at age 80. People are gathering around for your birthday party. Now do two different exercises.

First of all, what would you like people to be saying about you? Your immediate family, your extended family, your friends, your work colleagues, your staff, your bosses, others in your life that you came across (the homeless person on the street years ago, the student, the person who was lost and broke). Remember, this is what you want them to be able to say about you. Be honest. Don’t write what you think others might think you would want. This is for you and your eyes only.

Next, write down what each of those people would actually say about you today. Again, be brutally honest. What would they say that you might not want the to say but is probably true from their perspective?

Now, look at the gaps. Choose to work on closing the gaps so that folks can be saying what you really want them to be able to say about you earlier.

I know you can, but will you? 🙂

Analysis or Cognitive?

I see so much about how people are spending years in psycho-analysis in order to be happier. I really do not get it. I am not saying there is no place for it, but what is it that you want?? To understand why your life sucks, or who you can blame for the way you are? Or do you just want to be happy anyway?

Then there are the folks who are in Cognitive Therapy. I sort of wonder what that is about as well. Really all it seems to be about is to decide what you really want and then make a plan to get it! I know it is a bit more than that but it is pretty practical and focuses on outcome. You only need to look at the why question to see if it can happen again. If it can, develop a means to handle or avoid it. If it can’t, ….!!

What we really, really, really, REALLY want is to just be happy anyway! What has happened is done. At worst, it is a trail that you can still see. It does need to equal the future. What might happen is in the future. If we can really control it, make plans and deal with it. If it is not in your control, just get on with today!

So, how do we be happy anyway? There are so many books and courses on this I am always surprised that we are not all just plain happy. Actually, most of us, most of the time. We instinctively know what to do to be happy. We just loose track once in a while. Here are a few focus reminders to consider:

  • Intend to be happy.
  • Look for the good, even in bad things! Lessons learned.
  • Expect good things to happen – be optimistic.
  • Hang around happy people.
  • Give yourself time to be angry, sad, to grieve. But decide when to look for the happiness again. Set a deadline! Limit the time.

There are lots of tips here at this site and around the world. Look for the good ones that make sense to you. Remember the outcome you desire – to be happy anyway!

Be Fit – Be Happy! :)

I have said it before, what we all really want is just to be happy. There are several post here about some various things to consider. Right now I want to address one more issue. Weight – specifically overweight and obesity and the potential health problems related to those conditions.

Here are a couple of things that I found that demostrate the problem and what we might want to start considering:

Facts from World Health Organization.
http://www.who.int/dietphysicalactivity/publications/facts/obesity/en/
FACTS:
Globally, there are more than 1 billion overweight adults, at least 300 million of them obese.
Obesity and overweight pose a major risk for chronic diseases, including type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, hypertension and stroke, and certain forms of cancer. (emphasis added)
The key causes are increased consumption of energy-dense foods high in saturated fats and sugars, and reduced physical activity.

Scientific American Magazine
By David H. Freedman January 18, 2011
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=how-to-fix-the-obesity-crisis
style=”text-decoration: underline;”>Modern epidemic: For millennia, not getting enough food was a widespread problem. Nowadays obesity is a global burden that affects one third of Americans. Another third are overweight.
Obesity is complex: Researchers have developed key insights into its metabolic, genetic and neurological causes. But this work has not amounted to a solution to the public health crisis.
Behaviour focus: Using techniques that have proved effective in treating autism, stuttering and alcoholism may be the most valuable for either losing weight or preventing weight gain.
Next steps: Behavior studies show that recording calories, exercise and weight; adopting modest goals; and joining a support group increase the chances of success.

It really does come down to the quite simple idea of less intake and more output. As we age we loose lean muscle mass and fat increases. The reason fat increases is that we need less calories to maintain our weight as our muscle mass decreases (and/or our activity decreases) yet we tend to keep taking in the same amount of calories. The unneeded calories convert to fat and stay with us. We look for a magic pill or “diet” to solve our problem. We try joining a gym or some such thing to “burn it off”. All to no avail. We end up hating it and avoiding it. We “fail”.

Wrong!!! We don’t fail. We are just doing the wrong things because that is what we have been told to do for so long. It really does just take about 7 minutes three times a week to get in great shape. That is what 7 Minute Workout is all about. But it is about much more. It has great sessions to help us learn about how our bodies really work and how the food we choose to eat makes a difference. No preaching – no threats – just information and answers to questions. It also includes a great support network which, as you see from one of the items listed above, greatly increases the likelihood of success. There are also tools to record your progress and share it as you feel you want to.

Join me in stopping the trend to overweight and the health problems that come with that. First us, then our family, then our friends, and then their friends – and so on. Let’s change the world, one step at a time.