Love – Hate


Lord make me an instrument of your peace

Where there is hatred … let me sow love

Francis of Assisi

Another short one today. It really is a simple and yet vital. We humans are a social species that absolutely cannot survive without each other. Literally! Yet every day we see hatred being expressed and acted out against “others”. Others are humans that have what we want, or are different in looks and/or beliefs, or are keeping us from our beliefs and activities … and so on. You know what I am talking about.

So how do we address differences? Start by acknowledging them. Then look for commonalities. Focusing on the commonalities, find ways to help each other live your lives in peaceful pursuit of contentment and happiness. I wrote a bit about this some time ago in “Universal Guidelines to Live By“. Another item that puts forward how we can live together is “Everything In Life Is Negotiations-pamphlet1.

We can disagree vehemently with others but do not make it personal with trolling and personal attacks. Attack the issue and put your views forward in ways to convince. Don’t sow hatred or personal ridicule … sow love and personal acceptance.

What are you good at doing?

If you can fish, fish. If you can sing, sing. If you can fight,fight. Determine what you can do. And do that.

We are mostly told that we need to find our passion and do that in order to be happy. I have spent huge amounts of time endeveavoring to learn exactly what my passion is so that I can be sure that I am doing what I should be doing. Don’t get me wrong, I have always been very happy doing what I was doing, I just wanted to be sure.

The above quote from Epictetus, a first century ex-Roman slave is actually a pretty good guide to doing what you should be doing. Don’t focus on finding out what your passion is if that seems difficult. Rather, focus on doing what you can do that serves others in some positive and useful way, and do that! Most of the time you will feel good doing what you do. Of course, there will be times when outside stuff gets in the way but we just have to keep on keeping on.

What are you good at doing? Can you find ways to do that in ways that serve others? How exactly can you see yourself doing that every day? Are there jobs or other sorts of opportunities that you can apply doing that? What do you need to do in order to qualify and get “work” using the skills you are good at doing? You are in the process of planning your future and moving into real happiness. You might find that you can earn a good living doing other things – but be sure that you find ways to build in enough time to do what you are good at doing!

Doing what you are good at doing is shorthand for doing ย what makes you feel good and therefore happy. What are you good at? Do that!

What is happiness? 2.0

Is it a moment? Is it a destination? Is it a state of mind? Is it an automatic response? In my opinion it is none of these and it is all of them. In a much earlier postย I started the contemplation of what the definition is. This is more about what happiness is, in my view.

Said poorly but happiness is really just a way of life. A journey? The destination for all of our journeys through life is same – death and then whatever follows in accord with your own beliefs. But it is the journey that we cognitively experience. And as it is with all journeys, we get to choose our path, our way. If we don’t like our current path we can change it. It is just a choice.

Of course we often times forget that we can make choices. We get wrapped up in the busyness of life and stuff just happens. I have said it before and will say it again- choose to live on purpose. Don’t just drift. Don’t let the wake push you around, steer the boat and let the wake just be the trail left behind.

So how exactly do we live a life on purpose and is that really a part of being happy anyway? The first thing you need to consider is your why. Why do you think you are here? What is the legacy you believe you should/want to be remembered for? Write that down in a sentence or two at the most. You probably wrote that in the past tense. Rewrite it, but in the present tense if you can. Don’t sweat it if you can’t as long as it is clear to you and will serve as a beacon.

This is a bit like the eulogy exercise. I suggest you consider what your legacy would be if you died today. Why? The differences are gaps that you need to close on the way to your written statement from above. As you close the gaps and get closer to living your chosen reason, you can get closer to living a life in harmony.

So, yes it is a part of being happy anyway when you live your life on purpose. You will be choosing to do things that are in harmony with your why. All the rest of the stuff going on around that and around you will still happen but you will choose to consider the lessons to be learned, reflect on the good stuff and continue or return to living your life in harmony with your why.

Live well, love always and laugh out loud every day.๐Ÿ˜Ž

Bliss List

Throughout my life I have done a huge amount of research in the field of happiness. It interested me that it was a subject that underlies success writings and achievement writings and personal management (what we used to call time management). I wonder if you noticed this stuff along the way as well.

  • You become what you think about! (Earl Nightingale)
  • You reap what you sow.
  • What you focus on grows.
  • Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude … (Viktor Frankl)
  • You’re right about that dear. ๐Ÿ˜› (Wayne Dyer)
  • Decide!

You get the idea I think. I wrote earlier about simple pleasures and exhorted us to actually do things that we know will bring us happiness and pleasure. It strikes me that we need to take a few minutes and write down a bliss list (I wish I could recall who taught me that). What it is is simply a list of things that bring feelings of bliss when you just think about them. I just have to think about sitting here in my back yard and I feel at peace.

Take a few minutes and write down a list of the things that bring you feelings of bliss or happiness. For me this list includes things like outdoor patio dining, fresh toasted tomato sandwich, running, being near water, walking on a beach, raisins, nature areas of all sorts, dressing up(!), my special music playlist, being with grand kiddies, dining room meal at home with Luise… and so on, for three pages. It includes things I think I would love to do. I guarantee you that you will feel happy just thinking about these things as you write the list. It is not a gratitude list – it is a list of things that make you feel good. It’s okay to put indulgences here that you might feel a little guilty about – it is your bliss list!

Now what? Do you sit down and do this every time you want a lift in spirits? Not necessary. You have already done that. Rather, place this list in a convenient place where you can look at it regularly. I keep my list in my office which is where I sit down each week to review my past week and plan out my coming week. It is also where I review my day and plan my next day. I look over random parts of the list before I get started. You can keep your list in your sock drawer if you like. The important part is to look it over at least once a day. Just looking over the list will bring you feelings of happiness and even bliss. We should all have that in our days.

Live well, love always and laugh out loud every day! And remind yourself what brings feelings of joy into your life! ๐Ÿ™‚