Love – Hate


Lord make me an instrument of your peace

Where there is hatred … let me sow love

Francis of Assisi

Another short one today. It really is a simple and yet vital. We humans are a social species that absolutely cannot survive without each other. Literally! Yet every day we see hatred being expressed and acted out against “others”. Others are humans that have what we want, or are different in looks and/or beliefs, or are keeping us from our beliefs and activities … and so on. You know what I am talking about.

So how do we address differences? Start by acknowledging them. Then look for commonalities. Focusing on the commonalities, find ways to help each other live your lives in peaceful pursuit of contentment and happiness. I wrote a bit about this some time ago in “Universal Guidelines to Live By“. Another item that puts forward how we can live together is “Everything In Life Is Negotiations-pamphlet1.

We can disagree vehemently with others but do not make it personal with trolling and personal attacks. Attack the issue and put your views forward in ways to convince. Don’t sow hatred or personal ridicule … sow love and personal acceptance.

What are you good at doing?

If you can fish, fish. If you can sing, sing. If you can fight,fight. Determine what you can do. And do that.

We are mostly told that we need to find our passion and do that in order to be happy. I have spent huge amounts of time endeveavoring to learn exactly what my passion is so that I can be sure that I am doing what I should be doing. Don’t get me wrong, I have always been very happy doing what I was doing, I just wanted to be sure.

The above quote from Epictetus, a first century ex-Roman slave is actually a pretty good guide to doing what you should be doing. Don’t focus on finding out what your passion is if that seems difficult. Rather, focus on doing what you can do that serves others in some positive and useful way, and do that! Most of the time you will feel good doing what you do. Of course, there will be times when outside stuff gets in the way but we just have to keep on keeping on.

What are you good at doing? Can you find ways to do that in ways that serve others? How exactly can you see yourself doing that every day? Are there jobs or other sorts of opportunities that you can apply doing that? What do you need to do in order to qualify and get “work” using the skills you are good at doing? You are in the process of planning your future and moving into real happiness. You might find that you can earn a good living doing other things – but be sure that you find ways to build in enough time to do what you are good at doing!

Doing what you are good at doing is shorthand for doing  what makes you feel good and therefore happy. What are you good at? Do that!

What is happiness? 2.0

Is it a moment? Is it a destination? Is it a state of mind? Is it an automatic response? In my opinion it is none of these and it is all of them. In a much earlier post I started the contemplation of what the definition is. This is more about what happiness is, in my view.

Said poorly but happiness is really just a way of life. A journey? The destination for all of our journeys through life is same – death and then whatever follows in accord with your own beliefs. But it is the journey that we cognitively experience. And as it is with all journeys, we get to choose our path, our way. If we don’t like our current path we can change it. It is just a choice.

Of course we often times forget that we can make choices. We get wrapped up in the busyness of life and stuff just happens. I have said it before and will say it again- choose to live on purpose. Don’t just drift. Don’t let the wake push you around, steer the boat and let the wake just be the trail left behind.

So how exactly do we live a life on purpose and is that really a part of being happy anyway? The first thing you need to consider is your why. Why do you think you are here? What is the legacy you believe you should/want to be remembered for? Write that down in a sentence or two at the most. You probably wrote that in the past tense. Rewrite it, but in the present tense if you can. Don’t sweat it if you can’t as long as it is clear to you and will serve as a beacon.

This is a bit like the eulogy exercise. I suggest you consider what your legacy would be if you died today. Why? The differences are gaps that you need to close on the way to your written statement from above. As you close the gaps and get closer to living your chosen reason, you can get closer to living a life in harmony.

So, yes it is a part of being happy anyway when you live your life on purpose. You will be choosing to do things that are in harmony with your why. All the rest of the stuff going on around that and around you will still happen but you will choose to consider the lessons to be learned, reflect on the good stuff and continue or return to living your life in harmony with your why.

Live well, love always and laugh out loud every day.😎

Decide to Try!

Think positive. Be positive. Hold the image of what you really want in your mind and it will manifest. Imagine. And so on … These are the sorts of things that we are advised to do and they are all great. But, it will not be enough to build the life we really, really, really, really,REALLY want. We have to be On Purpose. We need to have a plan and actually do things.

Let me set out a few steps to get this week off to a great start. First of all, Prepare. Simply, that means clear the decks and get ready. As basic as clearing and organizing your space around you. Your desk, your office/room, even your car. It might not feel like it but these things are weighing on your brain and keeping you from being at your peak.

Then Plan. Start with exactly what it is that you want to achieve. Do you really believe that you can do it? As a friend once said to me a very long time ago, “Dream Big, the amount of work to get there is about the same and if you fall just a bit short you are still a very long ways along the road to what you set out for”. Try! So, write down exactly what it is that you want to achieve. What is the first step that you must take? And the next? If you are not even sure of the things that need to be done, talk to someone who has done it. Do some research to see what it might take to get to where you want to be. Write down all the action steps that you need to take. Organize them in chronological order as best you can.

And finally, Perform. Most of the time we are told to set a date by which we want to achieve something. I like that but it is actually much more important to set a time to actually start! Look at your list of action items and set a start date for as many as you reasonably can. Set the start time for at least one action for right now! And, as Anthony Robbins would say, take massive action.

We are most happy when we are working towards a worthwhile goal. Especially when that goal aligns with our purpose and values. We feel good when our surroundings are pleasant and organized. It all comes down to “Be the Best You” you can be. Live well, love always and laugh out loud everyday!

 

 

 

Procrastinator is me!

Procrastination has become a problem for me since I have unlimited and unstructured time available. We have heard for all our lives how work expands to fill the available time. What I did not realize was that anything will expand to fill the available time. Like checking out your social network accounts, like checking out just one more news media outlet, like reading just one more chapter (or six) in that book you are reading. You get the picture. Classic procrastination!

Now you might think that it is not really a problem because you really have nothing else pressing to do. But in my case I am growing so lethargic. At the end of the day I do not feel like I have done anything. But I was having trouble figuring out just what to do to break the cycle. There really are things I want to get done if I can only …

This is where a very timely article presented itself to me. The teacher appeared just when this student was ready. I read an article about productivity shortcuts written by Derek Doepker (@ExcuseProof) In it he suggests procrastinators use these magic words: “Can I just …”. In my case it has started me one a new road (actually it has helped put me back on the road I have been on most of my life). That is the road to getting things done! And feeling accomplished at the end of the day! Happy!

Can I just write one more blog entry? Can I just spend the next 25 minutes going through the things on my desk and throwing away what is not needed, filing what needs to be filed and putting things back where they belong? Can I just do cardio workouts every second day for the next two weeks? And so on. I am back to using my self management techniques that I had let slide because I thought I did not need them. I am back to feeling accomplished and productive. Even if I am not doing work in the traditional sense, I am happy anyway.

What about you? Can’t seem to break the procrastination blocker? Try it! When you are facing some challenge, break it down to a smaller bite and ask yourself: “Can I just …”